For
the past couple of months I have been tiptoeing around the giant elephant in
the room. Not because I was afraid to
confront it – it was because I was trying to keep the peace. I have finally come to realize that it takes
more than one person to keep things peaceful.
What I have been trying so hard to do was unraveling quicker than if I
just put a lit match to a stick of dynamite.
In the meanwhile I was slowly snuffing out my inner flame. I was dodging the truth, hiding from who I
was, and now I was avoiding the inevitable.
It was a bitter pill to swallow but I had to stand up a reclaim my
life. Sure, I had claimed it before but
now it had to be reclaimed because I had inadvertently surrounded myself with toxicity
and I didn’t even know it.
If
you envelop yourself in something long enough you tend to become what you are
surrounding yourself with. It seemed the
harder I tried to keep the peace the more the war seemed to be breaking out on
all sides. It was as though a raging
wildfire burning out of control. It was
spreading like a cancer into all aspects of my life. I had to do something to stop it. So I cut it right from the source.
It
wasn’t easy. In fact, it was downright
difficult. But it had to be done. There are those times in life when you just
need to let go and let God. This had been
one of those times. Since I am a person
who feels the need to remain in control at all times this had been a humbling
experience. I knew it wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. But I refused to be used and abused. Letting go hadn’t been easy and letting God
had really been the only option left.
There
are people that do not see the truth for what it is. Nor do they want to. It wasn’t my job to make them see it and
quite honestly it was exhausting. There
are also people that will knock you for your beliefs and that is okay. I wasn’t put here to save the world, the last
time I looked; Jesus Christ still holds that title the minute he went to that
cross and died for the world. So, I took
a deep breath, said a prayer, laid that burden at the cross, I let it go – and
in that moment God picked it up and I was truly free.
