Letting Go – and letting God

For the past couple of months I have been tiptoeing around the giant elephant in the room.  Not because I was afraid to confront it – it was because I was trying to keep the peace.  I have finally come to realize that it takes more than one person to keep things peaceful.  What I have been trying so hard to do was unraveling quicker than if I just put a lit match to a stick of dynamite.  In the meanwhile I was slowly snuffing out my inner flame.  I was dodging the truth, hiding from who I was, and now I was avoiding the inevitable.  It was a bitter pill to swallow but I had to stand up a reclaim my life.  Sure, I had claimed it before but now it had to be reclaimed because I had inadvertently surrounded myself with toxicity and I didn’t even know it.

If you envelop yourself in something long enough you tend to become what you are surrounding yourself with.  It seemed the harder I tried to keep the peace the more the war seemed to be breaking out on all sides.  It was as though a raging wildfire burning out of control.  It was spreading like a cancer into all aspects of my life.  I had to do something to stop it.  So I cut it right from the source.

It wasn’t easy.  In fact, it was downright difficult.  But it had to be done.  There are those times in life when you just need to let go and let God.  This had been one of those times.  Since I am a person who feels the need to remain in control at all times this had been a humbling experience.  I knew it wasn’t over.  Not by a long shot.  But I refused to be used and abused.  Letting go hadn’t been easy and letting God had really been the only option left.

There are people that do not see the truth for what it is.  Nor do they want to.  It wasn’t my job to make them see it and quite honestly it was exhausting.  There are also people that will knock you for your beliefs and that is okay.  I wasn’t put here to save the world, the last time I looked; Jesus Christ still holds that title the minute he went to that cross and died for the world.  So, I took a deep breath, said a prayer, laid that burden at the cross, I let it go – and in that moment God picked it up and I was truly free.  

  

A Mother’s Love

 

Mothers Day is a special day in which we acknowledge our Moms.  Whether they are here with us or if they have gone on to be with our Lord.  It is a day to appreciate everything they had done for us.  A mom loves, nurtures, and protects her children.  She may not always agree with their choices in life but she comes to accept those choices as she understands they have to go out into the world and make their own decisions.  There are some things they will have to learn the hard way and that is a part of life; a part of life that she herself understands as she too had to learn a couple of things the hard way.  A mom wants the best for her children and better than she has had for herself.  A mom will walk through fire for her children in order to protect them.  The only greater love than a mother’s love is the love that Jesus Christ has for all of His children.

The bond of a mother and her child is like no other.  Her children look to her as their protector.  When her children are babies she will do everything for them.  It is a not a job but a privilege to have this little precious bundle of joy that depends only on their mother for everything.  And that mother gives everything she has to care for that bundle that God has entrusted her with for safekeeping.

Since mothers are human they too make mistakes.  Raising a child does not come with any handbook and is often learned through trial and error.  A mother hopes to learn from her mistakes as time goes by just as a mother prays for wisdom because with that duty of being a mother comes also the most responsibility she will ever have.

Time moves on and a mother takes a mental note all of her children’s accomplishments throughout the years.  Especially the firsts of everything.  The first tooth.  The first lock of hair.  The first step. The first day of school.  These firsts make a mother reflect back on her children’s lives with love - sometimes awe - and certainly with admiration.  She cherishes those memories and locks them away in her heart for safekeeping.  A mother sometimes has to practice tough love.  It may be one of the hardest things she has to do but she knows the rewards in the end will be greater than just giving into the demands of a rebellious teenager.

Suddenly a mother’s children emerge into adults and it is time they leave the nest.  She hopes they take everything she has taught them while realizing there are many things they will learn on their own.  There are trials she knows they will go through and she prays for their protection, wisdom, and prosperity.  A mother keeps her children in prayer.

A mother’s love remains constant in the passage of time.  In her heart they will always be her babies.  She will remember always the date and time they came into the world and the first time she had held her baby for the first time.  However much time has passed; whether they are five or fifty-five a mother’s love is forever.

Cyber Monday Special

 

Purchase the contemporary romance One Enchanted Evening by Sandra Bonaldi and receive a free coupon for the scent One Enchanted Evening inspired by the book created by Deep Midnight Perfume Oils.  Please order by emailing directly sanbonaldi2002@yahoo.com with One Enchanted Evening in the subject line.

 

Diary of a FaceBook Stalker

I can admit that I am a FaceBook stalker.  I post small tidbits and the like but I enjoy reading about how my friends are doing way more than posting.  The reason I am on FaceBook at all is because of the promotion.  Let’s face it – FaceBook is a wonderful platform for getting your work recognized.  Being an author makes it a necessity for me to be on FaceBook.  At least that is what I tell myself.  Yeah, right.   

 

And then there’s the nonsense and what I will refer to as FaceBook Drama.  I find it amazing the things people put out there for the world to see.  Talk about having no secrets.  There are many people that have absolutely no filter at all.  Between knowing what they are having for dinner to knowing where they are going for vacation.  That is some scary stuff when you really stop to think about it.

 

So we have been sucked into social media.  From FaceBook to Twitter to Instagram we are ‘Live’.  Sure it is great to connect with old friends just as it is nice to see pictures of family far and wide.  Between taking ‘selfies’ to posting video in Real Time we are a generation living in the Now.  We have to have it right now.  Tomorrow is no longer good enough.  Waiting for anything is unheard of.  So, how did we get to this place where our demands need to be met this very moment?

 

Do you really want to know what I’m thinking right now, or what I am doing right now for that matter – probably not.  And that’s okay because believe me – the feeling is mutual.  With friends like mine who needs ‘frenemies’.

 

While I’ll be the first to admit that it is easy to get sucked into everything FaceBook there needs to be a way to do a FaceBook Detox and live to tell about it.  Let me give it some thought and I’ll be sure to post my findings.

Once upon a Time

 

Today started out as a regular day.  Upon waking I took the pups outside to do their business.  Ordinarily I am in a hurry but since it was Saturday and a little later than usual I decided to take my time.  As I roamed the backyard I took in the beautiful clear morning.  For the past couple of days I had done nothing but rush here and there.  I was tired of rushing.  I just wanted to stand still and breathe in the nice fresh air.

In the distance there were birds singing and the sounds of people doing yard work.  Then there were the strains of angry voices rising above all. 

The voices rose above the sounds of the weed whacker and I was immediately thrust back in time.  Twenty five years ran down the drain as I was frozen in place my ears picking up a full blown once upon a time.  Angry frustrated pitched voices rising higher and higher.  The words were ugly and hurtful.  I found myself flinching with each unkind word hurled at the other.

As I was caught up in the moment I found myself rooted to the ground.  Although I still could not detect where these voices were originating from I suddenly realized did I really want to know?  With a deep breath I looked up and uttered a small prayer of thanksgiving.  God had taken me out of that pit so long ago and I was forever grateful.  Today I pray for that married couple as they had hurled such unkind, cruel and wounding words.  These are words that can never be taken back.  Words that can cut a person to the quick as well as crush a spirit.

While I know it was so long ago for that brief moment it was as though it were only yesterday.  I turned and looked at my house with a smile.  This was my life now.  My life was now with a kind Christian man that cherishes me and would never blindly hurl cruelty in my direction.  Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs but that’s married life.  But we strive to be better tomorrow than we were yesterday.  Marriage is giving 100 percent.  It is not a 50 – 50 deal.  It’s the only way it will work.  You give 100 percent of yourself and you will reap the benefits.  You also need to trust God.  A marriage needs to be firmly planted on The Rock.  That Rock being Jesus Christ.  Once you do this, everything else is gravy.  I am not saying it will be perfect.  Nothing is, but once you understand God’s love your life will only become richer because of it.

So today, as I pen this distant memory of my once upon a time I reflect but only for a moment.  I thank God for bringing me out of the fire and into His wondrous light.  And I also pray for that unknown couple.  I pray that God shows them the way and heals their hearts from all of those cutting words that I am sure they didn’t mean as only He can! 

Turning Fifty - The New Forty NOT!!!!

A friend once told me - "If you think you're a bad-ass at forty just wait until you hit fifty!"  OMG!  Was she right!  If you thought I told it like it was then - wait for it...  Oh yeah!!!


I don't discuss my age nor do I discuss my birthday.  Those days I treat as though they are any other day!  Yeah, I know.  We're not getting older - we're getting better.  Like fine wine...  Blah-Blah-Blah…  However, those milestone birthdays have a way of sneaking up on a person.


I had no problem with forty, I actually embraced it!  By the time I had reached thirty-nine I was already preparing myself for what lay ahead.  But now!!  I’m not so sure I am ready for the BIG ONE!  I don’t feel it and I pray to God I don’t look it!!  Not ready!! 


Age is just a number and I'm going with that.  We'll revisit this in another couple of months and I am sure I will feel differently.  For right now...  That is all I will say on that matter...

Past Reflections - a contemporary first love story that transcends time!

http://www.wings-press.com/Bookstore/Past%20Reflections.htm