And how would you know the difference??
For the past five years I have thought that I had Midlife Crises when I have finally reached the conclusion that all I had was a Minor Meltdown. Which should not to be confused with the Major Meltdown that surely must follow the Minor Meltdown. So, now that I have that established I can move right along. Yeah right!!!
With hormone fluctuations that cannot be explained or contained it’s a wonder I can get a grip on any kind of emotion other than raging, crying, or just plain coming out the corner swinging. Men do not seem to understand that most of us (women) are running entirely on emotions. Not of our choice, it is simply the way we are built. And guys, let’s face it, you like the way we’re built, so shut up and deal with it.
I sometimes feel for my husband. I must admit he is learning to keep his lip zipped. He must figure the tangent will end sooner or later, he’s hoping for sooner. There are days I can actually feel the daggers shooting out of my eyes, which can be as sharp as my tongue, if you get me going.
Now, while all of these things are going on let’s keep in mind, that there is a trigger. I am not going off half cocked for no apparent reason. The fuse has been lit and now it’s practically a done deal.
I think that I have finally reached a point in my life where I am fed up with everything. I have come to terms with the things that I know that I have to do, no choice, and since I consider myself a responsible person, I get it done.
Taking a vacation is not an option because I have to come back. It’s a stalemate. There is no winning. So, I will take in a few deep breaths, count to ten, and then I’ll come out swinging. Blame it on PMS!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Ferrets Need Your Help Desperately...
When I originally heard the story about Tom’s friend losing 25 Ferrets I was devastated. Anyone who knows me knows that I am an animal lover and will do anything to protect our little four legged critters big and small. Then I went and met these wonderful people who run this amazing rescue I was positively floored. These people are truly amazing. Keith and Evelyn who run a Ferret Rescue/Shelter (in their home), Lost their home to a fire! All was lost. They lost 25 Ferrets in that fire and they are devastated!
Please sign this petition to help them rebuild!
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/petition/715975504
I was amazed that through the darkness they could see some light. If you are led to make a donation please do so. The work that they do is so important. I had the privilege to meet Sampson (one of the survivors) and he just cuddled right on up to me. Ordinarily I would have been a goner but as you know Chase and Chelsea being Rat Terriers would not take kindly to a ferret running around. But they are adorable and so loveable. These little furry critters are misunderstood. And please note, they are not rodents. There are many misconceptions regarding these lovable little fuzzies. Please visit the Ferret Rescue/Shelter website and make a donation to this worthy cause today!
http://www.fathernaturesferretrescue.com/
Please sign this petition to help them rebuild!
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/petition/715975504
I was amazed that through the darkness they could see some light. If you are led to make a donation please do so. The work that they do is so important. I had the privilege to meet Sampson (one of the survivors) and he just cuddled right on up to me. Ordinarily I would have been a goner but as you know Chase and Chelsea being Rat Terriers would not take kindly to a ferret running around. But they are adorable and so loveable. These little furry critters are misunderstood. And please note, they are not rodents. There are many misconceptions regarding these lovable little fuzzies. Please visit the Ferret Rescue/Shelter website and make a donation to this worthy cause today!
http://www.fathernaturesferretrescue.com/
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Retrospect and Hindsight
It’s amazing when you look at things in retrospect. Almost like seeing things in hindsight. I remember thinking, as well as saying, “If I had only done things differently. If only…” But here’s the deal I didn’t do things differently so I am stuck with what I have done and the choices I have made. Although I may not like it, it is all that I have.
People might say it’s that forty thing… Well, as time goes on it only gets better. You begin to realize that if you tell so and so how you feel the sky will NOT come crashing down and that life as you know it will not come to a screeching halt. Forty can be a wonderful thing if you embrace it. In the beginning I had fought it tooth and nail. When thirty-nine came and went it felt almost surreal. A couple of months earlier it was like a change was taking a hold of me. And it wasn’t just a case of hormones going in and out of flux, it was something indefinable. I was changing. There was something going on that was unexplainable and instead of fighting it, I embraced it.
I must have spent my entire life fighting something. I was always going against the grain but that simply meant that I was standing up for what was right. It was also something that made me the person that I was and am today. The times when I thought I had been the weakest had been the times when I had come out the strongest. Times when I had been kicked down could not be measured by the times when I had gotten up again, only stronger.
There are times when you might feel you are at your weakest point. Life is just repeatedly pulling you down. Those are the times that count. Those are the times when you have to dig your heels in and remain constant.
With the way that my life has flowed I sometimes cannot remember how I had gotten to this place in my life. If you would have told me that things would have turned out this way about fifteen or twenty years ago I would have told you that you are crazy. But that is life, with its crazy twists and turns. I also know, deep down in my heart, that most of the things that I did were things I HAD to do. No choices. They were things I did because they were the right thing to do. Simple enough. I wish it were. However, in the scheme of things, I know that one of these days things will turn around and I will be on the inside once again. Of course the question that remains will always be, is that where I’m supposed to be? As my mother once said, “A little adversity never hurt anyone.”
In my case, it made me stronger. There were people who thought I would fail and who knows maybe they believe that I have. I feel bad for them because they will never know true peace. The difference between us is that I have gotten up off the floor twenty years ago while they are still down there. So while they may think they’re on the inside, be advised, “You’re not…” In the end the truth will prevail. It always does. I may not have arrived and that’s all right. I will eventually get there. I am in no hurry. I just want to know that when I finally get there I will hear. “Well done thou faithful servant.”
I realize I still have a long way to go… however, the path remains straight.
People might say it’s that forty thing… Well, as time goes on it only gets better. You begin to realize that if you tell so and so how you feel the sky will NOT come crashing down and that life as you know it will not come to a screeching halt. Forty can be a wonderful thing if you embrace it. In the beginning I had fought it tooth and nail. When thirty-nine came and went it felt almost surreal. A couple of months earlier it was like a change was taking a hold of me. And it wasn’t just a case of hormones going in and out of flux, it was something indefinable. I was changing. There was something going on that was unexplainable and instead of fighting it, I embraced it.
I must have spent my entire life fighting something. I was always going against the grain but that simply meant that I was standing up for what was right. It was also something that made me the person that I was and am today. The times when I thought I had been the weakest had been the times when I had come out the strongest. Times when I had been kicked down could not be measured by the times when I had gotten up again, only stronger.
There are times when you might feel you are at your weakest point. Life is just repeatedly pulling you down. Those are the times that count. Those are the times when you have to dig your heels in and remain constant.
With the way that my life has flowed I sometimes cannot remember how I had gotten to this place in my life. If you would have told me that things would have turned out this way about fifteen or twenty years ago I would have told you that you are crazy. But that is life, with its crazy twists and turns. I also know, deep down in my heart, that most of the things that I did were things I HAD to do. No choices. They were things I did because they were the right thing to do. Simple enough. I wish it were. However, in the scheme of things, I know that one of these days things will turn around and I will be on the inside once again. Of course the question that remains will always be, is that where I’m supposed to be? As my mother once said, “A little adversity never hurt anyone.”
In my case, it made me stronger. There were people who thought I would fail and who knows maybe they believe that I have. I feel bad for them because they will never know true peace. The difference between us is that I have gotten up off the floor twenty years ago while they are still down there. So while they may think they’re on the inside, be advised, “You’re not…” In the end the truth will prevail. It always does. I may not have arrived and that’s all right. I will eventually get there. I am in no hurry. I just want to know that when I finally get there I will hear. “Well done thou faithful servant.”
I realize I still have a long way to go… however, the path remains straight.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Who is Driving??
Another new year!! I had purposed in my heart that it is going to be a good one. Despite what can be tossed my way, I am digging my heels in for the duration. I'm standing strong on quite a number of issues this year. Which is not really any different than any other year, then again, maybe it is...
Some things never change and some things have to change. I am standing firm on many things and I will NOT be moved. You would think that by now the people in my life would know some of the following words that I live by.
1) Loyalty
2) Honesty
3) Integrity
No, I am not perfect, not even close, but here it is. I strive to be a better person. I have definitely not arrived and doubt I will be arriving any time soon. I want to be able to wake up and look at myself in the mirror and be able to live with the kind of person I have turned out to be. And while I know there are so many things that I have yet to change, I am trying. I pray every day for God's blessings, wisdom, and His generous favor. If I have learned one thing - With God on my side, I can do anything. I cannot imagine living my life without God in it. I would only be flying by the seat of my pants. God is is the driver's seat and I am only the co-pilot. Quite honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way!!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Sweet Christmas Memories
The Christmas holiday is almost upon us and I must admit that I am just going through the motions. I pulled off my first shop of the season last night and was quite proud that I actually stuck to the list that I had prepared on the fly. Part of my problems with any kind of shopping is that I always seem to deviate from the plan but I must say that last night was a success. One more time out and I should be finished.
I didn’t bake one cookie this year. But there is still time, and if anything I really need to bake a batch of snowball cookies. Now, that is tradition. But like everything else, traditions change. The kids get older, they tend to want to do their own thing and slowly but surely the traditions seem to fade away. I remember when the high point of Christmas Eve was when Tom pulled out the classic picture book of Twas The Night Before Christmas, and the kids would gather all around as we lit the snowball candle, dimmed the lights, and Tom read from the timeless story. We knew the story by heart but it was our special tradition. Tom passed the book off to Joe probably about three years ago and somehow it ended up back on our bookshelf. I was dusting the bookcase the other day and pulled it out to get a look at the notes that had been scribbled on the inside of the jacket. A scribbled note for each year. It actually brought me back in time. The memories of three little kids, now adults, sitting on the floor with wide eyes as Tom recited the precious story of Santa Claus while sharing the bright illustrations before turning each page. Where has the time gone?
Families need to have more traditions. Spending precious time together whether it is over dinner or while watching a football game. The commercial Nick At Nite has been airing for some time now regarding spending time at the family table is one that is close to my heart. When the kids were growing up I was adamant with everyone sitting down at the table and sharing dinner together. We sat down to dinner every night and we talked about everyone’s day while we ate. This was considered an important part of the day for me and I looked forward to hearing about everyone’s day. And it kept us abreast as to what was going on in each other’s lives.
This year will be a little bit different. It is the first time I am not hosting dinner at my home. My baby sister is doing the honors and quite honestly I don’t think I am going to miss rushing around with the many preparations. I am going to take it easy and enjoy the little ones.
There is something magical about getting up early in the morning with the kids wide eyed expression as they are taking in the decorated tree with all of the pretty wrapped packages beneath. Those are the days I miss and now I get to share them with my grandchildren. Nothing compares to seeing Christmas through a child’s eyes.
I didn’t bake one cookie this year. But there is still time, and if anything I really need to bake a batch of snowball cookies. Now, that is tradition. But like everything else, traditions change. The kids get older, they tend to want to do their own thing and slowly but surely the traditions seem to fade away. I remember when the high point of Christmas Eve was when Tom pulled out the classic picture book of Twas The Night Before Christmas, and the kids would gather all around as we lit the snowball candle, dimmed the lights, and Tom read from the timeless story. We knew the story by heart but it was our special tradition. Tom passed the book off to Joe probably about three years ago and somehow it ended up back on our bookshelf. I was dusting the bookcase the other day and pulled it out to get a look at the notes that had been scribbled on the inside of the jacket. A scribbled note for each year. It actually brought me back in time. The memories of three little kids, now adults, sitting on the floor with wide eyes as Tom recited the precious story of Santa Claus while sharing the bright illustrations before turning each page. Where has the time gone?
Families need to have more traditions. Spending precious time together whether it is over dinner or while watching a football game. The commercial Nick At Nite has been airing for some time now regarding spending time at the family table is one that is close to my heart. When the kids were growing up I was adamant with everyone sitting down at the table and sharing dinner together. We sat down to dinner every night and we talked about everyone’s day while we ate. This was considered an important part of the day for me and I looked forward to hearing about everyone’s day. And it kept us abreast as to what was going on in each other’s lives.
This year will be a little bit different. It is the first time I am not hosting dinner at my home. My baby sister is doing the honors and quite honestly I don’t think I am going to miss rushing around with the many preparations. I am going to take it easy and enjoy the little ones.
There is something magical about getting up early in the morning with the kids wide eyed expression as they are taking in the decorated tree with all of the pretty wrapped packages beneath. Those are the days I miss and now I get to share them with my grandchildren. Nothing compares to seeing Christmas through a child’s eyes.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Time Waits for no one...
You might ask where all the time has gone. Like quite a few of my rants which begin with - give me back the moment…
I think this all goes back to memories. Time waits for none of us. It goes on and we either keep up with it or fall behind. Tom and I were talking last night, we’re in bed and he’s facing me, Chase is lying between us, which is not unusual as this pup thinks he is human and has as much of a right to my bed as I do. Tom says simply. “Your forties are going fast.”
I was insulted. My forties! As though he’s not in it with me. He’s smiling and I remind him that I do NOT like being reminded of my age, then again name one woman that does. Then I start doing the math, and I don’t like it, this aging thing. Since I have turned forty I have been saying that forty is the new twenty, but who am I kidding? I do NOT feel like I’m twenty, not even close. Then I come to realize, I don’t want to be twenty, so what is all the hype about? Vaguely I remember my mom saying there was nothing wrong with growing old gracefully. Here I am with the Avon ANEW vs. Oil of Olay. I find myself preaching to Jackie about different moisturizers and how she needs to start using these products NOW. And I find myself moisturizing morning, noon, and night. I have different creams for so many different things. When I say that I have at least fifteen different lotions, potions, and creams on my dresser I am not kidding. Not to mention all of those eye creams, eye serums and wrinkle creams. I refuse to grow old gracefully or any other way. In fact, I intend to fight it every step of the way.
I think this all goes back to memories. Time waits for none of us. It goes on and we either keep up with it or fall behind. Tom and I were talking last night, we’re in bed and he’s facing me, Chase is lying between us, which is not unusual as this pup thinks he is human and has as much of a right to my bed as I do. Tom says simply. “Your forties are going fast.”
I was insulted. My forties! As though he’s not in it with me. He’s smiling and I remind him that I do NOT like being reminded of my age, then again name one woman that does. Then I start doing the math, and I don’t like it, this aging thing. Since I have turned forty I have been saying that forty is the new twenty, but who am I kidding? I do NOT feel like I’m twenty, not even close. Then I come to realize, I don’t want to be twenty, so what is all the hype about? Vaguely I remember my mom saying there was nothing wrong with growing old gracefully. Here I am with the Avon ANEW vs. Oil of Olay. I find myself preaching to Jackie about different moisturizers and how she needs to start using these products NOW. And I find myself moisturizing morning, noon, and night. I have different creams for so many different things. When I say that I have at least fifteen different lotions, potions, and creams on my dresser I am not kidding. Not to mention all of those eye creams, eye serums and wrinkle creams. I refuse to grow old gracefully or any other way. In fact, I intend to fight it every step of the way.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Turning forty, kicking ass, and finding independence... Not necessarily in that order...
When have the years begun to blur together? I would have to say most likely after forty. I’ve always been one of those women who shot straight from the hip; at least I had always thought so. Then I turned forty and BANG! Overnight I turned into this bad ass that was through taking crap. And that is putting it nicely. There must have been a switch that was turned on and I became a woman who COULD and WOULD kick your ass should the situation arise.
I’ve always known that I had more balls than most women and even more so when it came to my kids. That is what is called the maternal instinct. Someone messes with your kid and it quickly becomes kick ass time. My motto, “The bigger they are the harder they fall.” I lived it and I sure as hell believed it. I went up against guys that were six feet plus if that meant protecting my kid(s). It’s a jungle out there.
I’ve always been a firm believer in standing up for what is right. It’s easier to go along with the crowd. That’s just the way it is but standing up and being heard is having the balls to stand up for what is right. It’s not always easy. Sometimes you have to admit defeat and that’s all right.
A couple of weeks ago my daughter came up to me and said. “I’m sick of this crap.”
I just looked at her. After all, she’s only twenty five, how much crap are we talking about? Then again I was kicking major ass at her age so I could relate. Then again I also had three kids when I was her age.
“You always had the balls in our family.” She stated simply. “Thank God I take after you.”
I did not disagree. I know for the most part Jackie and I are on the same wave length. She knows where I stand on certain issues and how I shoot straight from the hip. Just because you are my child does NOT automatically make you right in my eyes. I’ve made it crystal clear to ALL of my children just as my mother had made it crystal clear to me.
My mother, God rest her soul, was in her own way, a strong woman. I believe that she taught her children one very important thing and that was independence. I believe that is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. Granted, it took some of us a little longer to get there but in the long run, getting there is one of the greatest things I have ever achieved. With age comes wisdom. I’ve often heard that youth is wasted on the young and isn’t that the truth…
I’ve always known that I had more balls than most women and even more so when it came to my kids. That is what is called the maternal instinct. Someone messes with your kid and it quickly becomes kick ass time. My motto, “The bigger they are the harder they fall.” I lived it and I sure as hell believed it. I went up against guys that were six feet plus if that meant protecting my kid(s). It’s a jungle out there.
I’ve always been a firm believer in standing up for what is right. It’s easier to go along with the crowd. That’s just the way it is but standing up and being heard is having the balls to stand up for what is right. It’s not always easy. Sometimes you have to admit defeat and that’s all right.
A couple of weeks ago my daughter came up to me and said. “I’m sick of this crap.”
I just looked at her. After all, she’s only twenty five, how much crap are we talking about? Then again I was kicking major ass at her age so I could relate. Then again I also had three kids when I was her age.
“You always had the balls in our family.” She stated simply. “Thank God I take after you.”
I did not disagree. I know for the most part Jackie and I are on the same wave length. She knows where I stand on certain issues and how I shoot straight from the hip. Just because you are my child does NOT automatically make you right in my eyes. I’ve made it crystal clear to ALL of my children just as my mother had made it crystal clear to me.
My mother, God rest her soul, was in her own way, a strong woman. I believe that she taught her children one very important thing and that was independence. I believe that is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. Granted, it took some of us a little longer to get there but in the long run, getting there is one of the greatest things I have ever achieved. With age comes wisdom. I’ve often heard that youth is wasted on the young and isn’t that the truth…
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