“Let me get this straight.” He took in a deep breath and turned on his side so that he was gazing into her beautiful stormy eyes. “You think that things have changed because I haven’t put any moves on you.” He paused. “When I thought that you didn’t want me to put the moves on you.”
A smile graced her lips. “You make it sound…”
“Do you think that I don’t want to?”
She opened her mouth then clamped it shut. “Because that is the furthest from the truth. I have to take a cold shower every night because I am always overheating whenever I’m around you.” He pulled a careless hand through his hair although his eyes never left hers. And then he was moving closer. To his surprise as well as delight she did not back off but stood her ground. “I’m going to…”
Victoria didn’t give him time to finish that sentence as she pressed her lips to his in order to receive his kiss. At the last possible second, she closed her eyes as Nick thoroughly explored her mouth with a hunger that could no longer be contained.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Fall Out
We can sit here and rehash every damned thing we ever said or done but what will that change? Not a damned thing. I’ve been searching my whole life for the answers and they simply elude me. I haven’t given up hope but I’m sitting back and taking a breather. The heart is a funny thing. One minute it can be as tough as nails and then just as quickly a sharp word can cause a gash that can actually bleed out. We are all guilty of opening our mouths without thinking of the fallout. I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter how you slice it that sometimes the truth is a bitter pill to swallow and facing it is ten times worse. My days of walking on eggshells are gone forever. Sure, I think about what I’m going to say before I say it but sometimes when someone hurts us we lash out wanting to hurt them back.
When I was in my twenties, I must have been delusional. Thirties, just getting the falling in love forever thing and the forties... Well, the forties have me rethinking everything I have ever said and everything I have ever done in my life. I think the realization hit me when I recognized the real reason I may have started writing to begin with. It makes perfect sense to some degree. I was hurting deeply when it all began and felt the need to let the pain flow from my heart to the paper, the pen being the medium from which it flowed. And I must admit it helped to some degree. It never eased the pain in my heart from losing that special someone I had loved so dearly. It had only made it more bearable. And that is the most sense that I can make out of it, almost twenty-five years after the fact.
If I ever decided to sit down and write my life story it would never make the first cut, either that or my heart may bleed out before I even hit the teenage years. Yet, I have gotten through it and know that God had always been there, always had his hand on my life, even when I had walked away from him.
In the last year or so I find that I am finally seeing people for who they are. I’m looking at how life is but a drop in the bucket while I also feel like I am running out of time. I seem to be racing against this unknown force, which I gather might be time and I feel as though I am falling so far behind.
We need to do the best with what we have. I have always been a survivor and I know I will continue to be. I also strive for bigger and better goals. Quitting is/was never an option. Sometimes you need to move on from the point that you are at. You can’t go back so you need to go on from exactly where you are. I know they say that tomorrow is another day, but sometimes tomorrow never comes. Morbid, no! Reality, yes!
So, maybe we should do the following:
Sing like no one can hear you.
Dance like no one is watching.
Laugh out loud.
Look around at God’s masterpiece in awe.
Love without conditions.
Never, go to bed angry.
Life is too short so get out there and create some new memories!
When I was in my twenties, I must have been delusional. Thirties, just getting the falling in love forever thing and the forties... Well, the forties have me rethinking everything I have ever said and everything I have ever done in my life. I think the realization hit me when I recognized the real reason I may have started writing to begin with. It makes perfect sense to some degree. I was hurting deeply when it all began and felt the need to let the pain flow from my heart to the paper, the pen being the medium from which it flowed. And I must admit it helped to some degree. It never eased the pain in my heart from losing that special someone I had loved so dearly. It had only made it more bearable. And that is the most sense that I can make out of it, almost twenty-five years after the fact.
If I ever decided to sit down and write my life story it would never make the first cut, either that or my heart may bleed out before I even hit the teenage years. Yet, I have gotten through it and know that God had always been there, always had his hand on my life, even when I had walked away from him.
In the last year or so I find that I am finally seeing people for who they are. I’m looking at how life is but a drop in the bucket while I also feel like I am running out of time. I seem to be racing against this unknown force, which I gather might be time and I feel as though I am falling so far behind.
We need to do the best with what we have. I have always been a survivor and I know I will continue to be. I also strive for bigger and better goals. Quitting is/was never an option. Sometimes you need to move on from the point that you are at. You can’t go back so you need to go on from exactly where you are. I know they say that tomorrow is another day, but sometimes tomorrow never comes. Morbid, no! Reality, yes!
So, maybe we should do the following:
Sing like no one can hear you.
Dance like no one is watching.
Laugh out loud.
Look around at God’s masterpiece in awe.
Love without conditions.
Never, go to bed angry.
Life is too short so get out there and create some new memories!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Haters / By: Maya Angelou
My sister passed this on to me in an email and I think it is POWERFUL!
Not only that but it rings TRUE on ALL accounts. Just thought I would
share.
Haters
By Maya Angelou
A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their
time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever
good enough!
When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...
That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your
blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing
you blessed...
It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be
like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?
You never know what people have gone through to get what they
have...
The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they
don't know my story...
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you
can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!
We've all got some haters among us!
Some people envy you because you can:
a) Have a relationship with God
b) Light up a room when you walk in
c) Start your own business
d) Tell a man/woman to hit the curb
(if he/she isn't about the right thing)
e) you are a strong person and don't let people run you over
f) you have a strong and loving marriage and they can't get in-between spouses to spoil it
Haters can't stand to see you happy.
Haters will never want to see you succeed.
Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be
on our side (like some family and friends).
How do you handle your undercover haters?
You can handle these haters by:
1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are
*(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not
mean having a job. You can have a job and still be
unfulfilled.
A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.
Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering that what you have is by divine
prerogative and not human manipulation.
Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live...when its your
time to leave this earth, you want to be able to say, 'I've lived my
life and fulfilled my dreams, Now I'm ready to go HOME!
When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at
me...Look at who is in charge of me...'
Not only that but it rings TRUE on ALL accounts. Just thought I would
share.
Haters
By Maya Angelou
A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their
time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever
good enough!
When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...
That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your
blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing
you blessed...
It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be
like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?
You never know what people have gone through to get what they
have...
The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they
don't know my story...
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you
can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!
We've all got some haters among us!
Some people envy you because you can:
a) Have a relationship with God
b) Light up a room when you walk in
c) Start your own business
d) Tell a man/woman to hit the curb
(if he/she isn't about the right thing)
e) you are a strong person and don't let people run you over
f) you have a strong and loving marriage and they can't get in-between spouses to spoil it
Haters can't stand to see you happy.
Haters will never want to see you succeed.
Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be
on our side (like some family and friends).
How do you handle your undercover haters?
You can handle these haters by:
1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are
*(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not
mean having a job. You can have a job and still be
unfulfilled.
A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.
Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering that what you have is by divine
prerogative and not human manipulation.
Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live...when its your
time to leave this earth, you want to be able to say, 'I've lived my
life and fulfilled my dreams, Now I'm ready to go HOME!
When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at
me...Look at who is in charge of me...'
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Matches Aren't Always Made In Heaven
Matches Aren't Always Made In Heaven
(Installment 1)
As the rain continued to pelt the pavement Jerard pushed himself further back into the doorway while pulling the collar of his brown trench coat up around his ears. There were people hurrying along the sidewalk dodging the drizzle, some with umbrellas and others just rushing to get out of the rain. Heavy clouds hung directly overhead as the rain continued to fall. He’d been in this particular vicinity for about a week and he’d been watching her. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be here and quite honestly he couldn’t recall how he’d stumbled across her path. She was still as beautiful as he’d remembered. Even more so. Time had been kind to Sarah Alders but this wasn’t his assignment and he knew that. But he could not bring himself to leave. Not yet, anyway.
He’d fallen hard for Sarah, but she had never known, had never even suspected it. They weren’t meant to be together and they had both known that. They had come from two different worlds and although at the time Sarah couldn’t see beyond tomorrow Jerard certainly could. He had tasted the regret the moment he had kissed her lips just as he had a twinge of regret now. But kissing her had been unavoidable and the moment their lips had met he had gone down for the count.
Time seemed to crawl as he waited for Sarah to come out of her boyfriend’s apartment which was where he had followed her. A twinge of something familiar hit him furiously but that lasted for only the briefest of moments. This wasn’t the first time that he needed to remind himself that he needed to finish up his assignment and get back home. Yet, he still remained in the doorway looking up at the second floor apartment forlornly.
Jerard shook himself back into the present as Sarah came down the front stairs laughing, the boyfriend close behind. He had a large green umbrella but Sarah stopped him from opening it. All was quiet as Jerard held his breath for a moment. Her hair was shorter than he remembered which in turn caused her brown eyes to look bigger. Liquid brown eyes. The color of melting chocolate. Sarah had been a skinny teenager and not exactly a raving beauty but she’d always had all the right curves in all the right places. And now, she was a woman. Totally different from the frightened little girl he had kissed so tenderly on that balmy summer night so very long ago. It was still hard to believe that he had let her go so easily. But he’d had no choice. It hadn’t been the right time. They hadn’t stood half a chance twenty years ago just as sure as they hadn’t a chance today. Yet, here he was, so close to reaching out to Sarah but still so far away.
(Installment 1)
As the rain continued to pelt the pavement Jerard pushed himself further back into the doorway while pulling the collar of his brown trench coat up around his ears. There were people hurrying along the sidewalk dodging the drizzle, some with umbrellas and others just rushing to get out of the rain. Heavy clouds hung directly overhead as the rain continued to fall. He’d been in this particular vicinity for about a week and he’d been watching her. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be here and quite honestly he couldn’t recall how he’d stumbled across her path. She was still as beautiful as he’d remembered. Even more so. Time had been kind to Sarah Alders but this wasn’t his assignment and he knew that. But he could not bring himself to leave. Not yet, anyway.
He’d fallen hard for Sarah, but she had never known, had never even suspected it. They weren’t meant to be together and they had both known that. They had come from two different worlds and although at the time Sarah couldn’t see beyond tomorrow Jerard certainly could. He had tasted the regret the moment he had kissed her lips just as he had a twinge of regret now. But kissing her had been unavoidable and the moment their lips had met he had gone down for the count.
Time seemed to crawl as he waited for Sarah to come out of her boyfriend’s apartment which was where he had followed her. A twinge of something familiar hit him furiously but that lasted for only the briefest of moments. This wasn’t the first time that he needed to remind himself that he needed to finish up his assignment and get back home. Yet, he still remained in the doorway looking up at the second floor apartment forlornly.
Jerard shook himself back into the present as Sarah came down the front stairs laughing, the boyfriend close behind. He had a large green umbrella but Sarah stopped him from opening it. All was quiet as Jerard held his breath for a moment. Her hair was shorter than he remembered which in turn caused her brown eyes to look bigger. Liquid brown eyes. The color of melting chocolate. Sarah had been a skinny teenager and not exactly a raving beauty but she’d always had all the right curves in all the right places. And now, she was a woman. Totally different from the frightened little girl he had kissed so tenderly on that balmy summer night so very long ago. It was still hard to believe that he had let her go so easily. But he’d had no choice. It hadn’t been the right time. They hadn’t stood half a chance twenty years ago just as sure as they hadn’t a chance today. Yet, here he was, so close to reaching out to Sarah but still so far away.
Friday, September 18, 2009
From One Mother to Another…
Today I woke up missing my mother more than usual. There were so many things we hadn’t talked about when she had been alive. Things we probably should have talked about. I had, however, made sure that she hadn’t blamed herself for my foolish mistakes of the past. That is the thing with mistakes. I think Billy Joel said it best. They are truly the only things that we can call our own. Isn’t that the truth?
My relationship with my daughter is pretty good. At least I think it is. We can talk about many things. Even though there are plenty of those occasions when she rolls her eyes when I am getting too personal. “Hey, I’m your mother. It gives me the right to be a royal pain in your butt. I tell you these things, why?”
“Because you love me.” By now, her eyes are still rolling but there is the hint of a smile. As long as she knows that is why I am being so persistent. It is important to me that she knows.
I am not going to be around forever. I need to know that she, as well as my boys, can take care of themselves. Only then, will my job as a mother be complete. My boys have taken on the hard-headed mentality. That’s all right. We’ve all been there. As long as they know that I love them and want the very best for them that life has to offer.
No one understands better than me that you can love someone and not be able to live with them. That was the type of relationship I shared with my mother. I could not live with her but that did not mean I didn’t love her. I found I had a better relationship with her when I didn’t live with her.
I always admired my mom; I thought she had to be one of the strongest women I had ever known. She had single-handedly raised three girls who had turned into some pretty successful women, if I do say so myself. My grandmother had lived with us as well but it had been my mom who ran the house. She raised us to be the best that we could be. And for the time that I had deviated from the plan, God had been watching over me. I thank God that I finally came to my senses, came back into the fold, and had been able to spend some time with my mom before she had unexpectedly passed away three years later.
There are some things I don’t understand. Some things I may never understand. And that’s quite all right. I’m still standing here, unwavering, standing on the promises of God. I’ve come to accept that God’s plan for my life is so much better than anything I can ever hope to achieve. So I wait and I pray to God with an unconditional love that only one mother to another can ever understand.
My relationship with my daughter is pretty good. At least I think it is. We can talk about many things. Even though there are plenty of those occasions when she rolls her eyes when I am getting too personal. “Hey, I’m your mother. It gives me the right to be a royal pain in your butt. I tell you these things, why?”
“Because you love me.” By now, her eyes are still rolling but there is the hint of a smile. As long as she knows that is why I am being so persistent. It is important to me that she knows.
I am not going to be around forever. I need to know that she, as well as my boys, can take care of themselves. Only then, will my job as a mother be complete. My boys have taken on the hard-headed mentality. That’s all right. We’ve all been there. As long as they know that I love them and want the very best for them that life has to offer.
No one understands better than me that you can love someone and not be able to live with them. That was the type of relationship I shared with my mother. I could not live with her but that did not mean I didn’t love her. I found I had a better relationship with her when I didn’t live with her.
I always admired my mom; I thought she had to be one of the strongest women I had ever known. She had single-handedly raised three girls who had turned into some pretty successful women, if I do say so myself. My grandmother had lived with us as well but it had been my mom who ran the house. She raised us to be the best that we could be. And for the time that I had deviated from the plan, God had been watching over me. I thank God that I finally came to my senses, came back into the fold, and had been able to spend some time with my mom before she had unexpectedly passed away three years later.
There are some things I don’t understand. Some things I may never understand. And that’s quite all right. I’m still standing here, unwavering, standing on the promises of God. I’ve come to accept that God’s plan for my life is so much better than anything I can ever hope to achieve. So I wait and I pray to God with an unconditional love that only one mother to another can ever understand.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Midnight Magic - The Rewrite
I finally took that Ahhh breath this morning when I FINALLY finished this rewrite. I am hoping that this is good enough for them to go ahead. Of course I am just beginning the edits so you never know what can happen now. But it truly is a wonderful feeling to know that you have jumped that last hurdle. I think I just might be over the moon. And coming off a vacation high I would have to say that's pretty good.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Book Signing Sat. 08-08
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)